As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
