She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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