Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We're too hungover to prance.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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