no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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