I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
