I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
In America we eat man semen.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
