the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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