Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
