Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
