I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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