Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
