I could have mohawked her pubes.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
