Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Drunk walkin through police station. America
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
