maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just high enough for therapy.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
