Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
