Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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