You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
