I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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