I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
