ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
