Fuck appropriateness.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
