Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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