You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
