New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Randomize
