he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
