Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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