Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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