We're like a lot better than the average bears
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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