I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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