Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
