I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
