in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
