i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
