At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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