Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
