This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
