his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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