I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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