She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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