News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Never underestimate the power of titties
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
