and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
