Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
