Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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