You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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