I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
