Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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