Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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