he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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