i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
