if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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