Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
