obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
