I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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