For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
